Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Speak Into The Microphone



A long time ago, when this blog was in its infancy—drooling, whining, and sticking anything within reach into its mouth—I wrote a little story about a big fish. In it I described how I had once asked a Burger King employee if he knew what kind of fish was in their fish sandwich. And Hubby, bewildered, said, Who asks what kind of fish is in a Burger King fish sandwich?

Sheesh! I know, Ok, I'm odd. I just like to know what I'm eating. I would think most people like to know what they're eating. Or at least if they're going to need a bib.

Weeeeell, over at analytics the other day, scrolling down pages of interesting and curious key word searches, such as "what's my purpose" and "postcards from Disney Florida" and "puddles the u of o duck" and "ms Voodoo Valentine naked" (I can imagine the disappointment at being directed to my posts), I stumbled upon this:




Yes, that! (McDonalds/Burger King. Same thing.)

That, that query abovedemonstrates the benefits of keeping a blog. Evidence clearly indicating that if you write about every little thing on your mind, doubts, worries, relationships, children, work, spring cleaning, the market's produce section, every banal thing in your life (wait, that's reserved for Facebook), especially about things for which you've been mocked, sooner or later someone, some lonely or confused or desperate soul sitting at a computer in a dimly lit room, fog settling along the horizon, stubbing out a cigarette in a stolen hotel ashtray is going to ask the great gods of the internet a question like: What kind of fish is used in a Burger King/McDonalds fish sandwich?

And the gods will answer.

What's that you say, darling?

Just a little louder please.

Speak into the microphone!

Oh, you take back what you said? About me being the only person who would ask what kind of fish is in a Burger King fish sandwich?

Ha! Thank you.

Now I can rest easy knowing that I am NORMAL. I think.

35 comments:

  1. this is just too much, jayne. fish story indeed. you.are.too.funny.

    turns out we have much in common. i, too, have been mocked by my husband. way, way back i wrote a post called THE POOP and my husband asked: who writes about poop? well.....i do. it was about dogs and dog poop and it has gotten the most page views of any post of mine swirling around out there. that's kinda sad. oh well.

    here's to fish and poop. we stand vindicated.

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    1. Ha! And I'm not surprise, m, that it's popular. Who doesn't want to know more about poop?

      Every once in a while my husband also likes to say (mockingly): Who asks if its alright to sit at the bar? Yep, yours truly. (Well, actually, I still need to write a bar post. That should be easy enough. ;)

      Vindicated we are!

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  2. Okay Jayne, you have redeemed yourself and proved that your question wasn't silly. BUT...I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the answer to the question! Pollock? Fish parts? Fish flavored paper towels? What's the answer?
    LOL!! Yeah, it will bother me if I don't find out.

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    1. Yes! The fish, well, if everyone had clicked on Mr. Linky up there, you'd find not only the gruesome breakdown of fat and calories, but also that I never could find, precisely, what kind of fish is used. My buddy TCM, below, mentioned Arctic Pollock--which I know is used in McDonald's fish sandwich--couldn't verify (2 years ago) that it's used by BK, but it probably is. Either that or fish-flavored paper towels!!

      I don't often stumble into a BK. In fact, that was the first time since, oh, since the kids were tiny, tiny, and before that, it was the time Hubby mocked me. I can't say I miss it either. ;)

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  3. There be fish in a fish sandwich?? ARRRRH! :¬)

    xxx

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    1. Ha! I think it's unlikely Mapstew! Nice to see you here. :)

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  4. This cracks me up. I love that your internet searcher puts out their cig in a stolen hotel ashtray-great detail.
    And come to think of it, I'd like to know what kind of fish they use too.

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    1. I'd like to know too, Tim! I tried to find the source two years ago, and haven't looked since. Really, I maybe I don't I want to know. I don't plan on returning. (Unless of course, there's another emergency--which is generally how I find myself in a BK. ;))

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  5. I love that lonely desperate soul sitting in a dimly lit room! And yes, I am often her.

    It was a perfectly good question that needed asking btw.

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    1. Are you stubbing out your cig, too, Ru? Ha! Thank you for your support. I didn't see how I had overstepped any boundaries. ;)

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  6. Oh Jayne, the search words and phrases that people use to reach my blog....I have never considered searching or even putting some of those words together in a phrase. But now I really need to know, what kind of fish is in that sandwich. Off to Google...

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    1. Will no one click on the linky?! Oy, I don't know! Let me know if you find out. The Common Man thinks it's arctic pollock. That's somewhat encouraging. ;)

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  7. I'm picturing this whole scenario. Honestly, I laughed out loud when you got to the part when your hubby said, "Who asks what kind of fish is in a Burger King fish sandwich?" Odd? No. You're normal. I like to know what I'm eating too. Fish lips and fins?

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    1. Loree- Ha! Could be fish lips and fins. Gah. See, this is why I don't ordinarily venture into fast food restaurants (if you can call then that).

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  8. so, what kind of fish is in a fast food fish sandwich?

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    1. Ok, no one followed the link. Welp, I'm going to go w/The Common Man's answer: Arctic pollock. But the great gods of the internet still aren't spillin' it. ;)

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  9. I used to love watching my searches but then my server took that stat counter down when it corrupted my blog and now all I get is a cold number.

    I think the rules applies as with letters to our representatives that I heard once long ago. For every letter written they count it as 10 people that wanted to but didn't.

    I was going to guess pollock.

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    1. Excellent guess, Colleen. I can't confirm it, but TCM, below, seems to think it's the answer, and we should all run with that.

      Ah, that interesting about the letters. Even if it's not true I'm sure it helps our reps feel better. ;)

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  10. Jayne,

    I am insulted in a mild way that you did not ask me. It is Artic Pollock, moslty caught up in Alaska. See my friends web site. The dented bucket.

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    1. Your the man, Man. I thought you were going tell me that you fished it out for BK yourself. I don't think you've taken your boat up to Alaska yet, now have you? I'll take a looky over at TDB. ;)

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    2. Ok, I can't fish through all those posts! Give us a link, big guy!

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  11. BTW Emily is graduating tommorow. Yes I am old.

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    1. Tomorrow? Holy, holy.... wow! That was fast. Congrats to Em! Time to celebrate. ;)

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  12. i always ask, what's your fish de jour?

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    1. See? That's right. Always ask about the fish--however the heck it's served. ;)

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  13. I once, in my baby-making days, was a shift manager at McDonald's. I rarely eat there now. I still do not know what is in the fish sandwich. My best guess is "cholesterol."

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    1. Haha! Nessa- I'd wager my pennies (pretty much all I have) on that guess, too. ;)

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  14. Loved this! Stolen hotel ashtray pretty much summed up the imagery for that desperate soul staring into the computer.

    Someone recently found my blog with the key words "naked Native girl" - imagine their disappointment in finding me.

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    1. Hillary- Well, it tells me that Google lists G-rated material higher than the stuff we don't want our kids to get at! Thank you, Google. ;)

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  15. bahahaha.....hang on..no wait..hahahaha...
    i think they are made out of wet toilet paper...with fish flavour of course! :)

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    1. LOL! Oh, po fish sauce got a bad wrap. I wish decent restaurants were open later at night--we don't have a lot of emergency options after theatre closes. ;)

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  16. Google Analytics: people keep talking this up, and I keep meaning to find out what the flap is all about. Yet every time I visit there, I can't make head nor tail of it. (Fwiw, I didn't enroll RAMH there until sometime in the last year, I think. So maybe it just hasn't/hadn't accumulated enough data to make sense.)

    And have you heard about the guy who worked at a deli down on the Gulf coast? He makes fish sandwiches, as it happens. The gimmick is that each week he changes the recipe slightly; the sandwich is called the Blogger of the Week. But he never tells anyone who a given week's blogger is. His wife asked him about it, and he replied, "Who on earth asks---"

    ...and at this point my imagination ran smack into a wall, because I couldn't figure out a punchline to a shaggy-dog story which would satisfactorily turn the DH's question inside-out.

    I wish there was a way to visit someone's Web site under bogus-search pretenses. Like, you'd be wandering through Google Analytics and suddenly noticed that I'd come here from Google by searching on the phrase, uh, I don't know, chicken farts or something. When of course I wouldn't have done any such thing. (I just like trying to imagine ways to confuse people. It's not that hard, especially if I embark on the enterprise in a confused state myself. :))

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    1. I wish I could figure Google analytics myself. I've given up. These stats/analytics were from Blogger. It's the basics only, but that's about all I can manage.

      Blogger of the Week... Ha! (What kind of Blogger are you serving today?) Makes me wonder what SS's ingredients might contain!

      If you ever figure out how to conduct a bogus search. Do tell. Just me. ;)
      (You may be on to something here... some kind of website that rearranges/jumbles searches like a Bitly, or something like that? No, that doesn't make sense. I don't know what I'm talking about. :/)

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  17. haha loved this......

    i don't believe i've ever eaten one of those fish sandwiches, and i would be afraid to know what is in them. whatever it is, it is best drowned in a flood of tartar sauce (which i detest almost as much ;-)

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    1. Good for you, Amanda. Don't ever try one. You will regret it the next morning. ;)

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